My oldest, Thomas, has just entered sixth grade – at least, according to the public school that oversees our unschooling adventure. The last time he had anything remotely resembling a formal math lesson was when he was five years old, and I was still in my “we’re doing things exactly like school, but in a tiny room in our home” phase. Needless to say, the curriculum was hardly taxing: we counted colored bears and categorized Halloween candy. Every once in a while we solved a story problem for good measure.
But somewhere between kindergarten and first grade, our family made the switch to unschooling, and that was pretty much the end of mathematics – as a curriculum, anyway. Once we began learning through real life, we discovered a richer type of mathematics – one that was embedded in much of what we did just going about our days. We cooked, we saved money, we spent money, we divided up the brownies fairly, we watched the clock when friends were due to arrive, and so on, and so on. The beauty of this math was that it was practical, immediately applicable (no “when will I ever use this in real life?” histrionics here), and done largely in our heads, rather than with pencil and paper. I could see Thomas develop his ability to think flexibly about numbers since he wasn’t tied to a particular method or algorithm for solving problems. I watched him dissect numbers, round up, round down, adjust accordingly, all to make things easier to handle in his head. I felt this was an excellent skill in itself. Because, honestly, I’m not the kind to carry a mini-calculator or pad of paper in my purse just in case I need to figure out something on the go. I’m a “do-it-in-my-head” kind of girl. And it’s served me well when I’m out and about, doing the mathematics of the real world.
But there’s always been a niggling little voice in the back of my head. I call it my teacher voice, and it whines at me, particularly at the beginning of the school year. “It’s all well and good that he can add in his head,” it fusses, “but what about harder math? He’s never going to encounter a four digit subtraction problem that requires borrowing while he’s baking brownies.” That annoying little voice used to cause me quite a bit of anxiety until my research uncovered one very reassuring fact: many unschoolers eventually do choose to take some formal mathematics, and when they do, they are often able to cover the conventional math taught K-12 in a fraction of the time it takes their schooled counterparts.
Apparently, I’m not the only one with a whiny inner voice, though. Recently, Thomas shared with me his concern that he wasn’t “as smart” as his friends in school because he didn’t know the same material. My attempt at reassuring him that he could trust the unschooling process fell on deaf ears. Other sixth graders were doing math problems – lots of them – and even more for homework. He absolutely needed to know he could do the same. I realized that the moment I’d read about had arrived: my unschooled son wanted some formal math. Here was the moment of truth. Would the research match my own experience? Or would I discover, to my horror, that my child was woefully undereducated, and the whiny teacher voice had been right all along?
I enrolled Thomas in Khan Academy, an online resource with a mission to “provide a free, world-class education for anyone, anywhere.” We decided he’d work thirty minutes a day. I really had no idea at what level to start him, so I decided just to begin at the beginning. The first level of mathematics covers grades K-2, so that’s where I placed him. I figured better safe than sorry; if he had an early gaps, I wanted to know about them.
As of today, Thomas is 8 days in. He’s spent a grand total of 4 hours. He’s already mastered 55% of the material covered in grades K, 1 and 2, from adding large numbers, to reading graphs, to subtraction with borrowing (it took him about 5 minutes to get that concept). I sit by him, at the ready in case he needs a quick tutorial. Sometimes he does. But he picks up the idea in minutes, not weeks or months like many of the school children I taught. Mostly, he gets stumped because his own approach is so effective that backing up to do things in a more traditional way feels nonsensical and cumbersome. But he’s finding ways to integrate his thinking with these different methods.
I realize that he’s not yet converting fractions to decimals or performing wondrous feats of long division. But at 55% in four hours, I like his trajectory. Our goal is to be caught up to sixth grade by the end of the school year. Honestly, I don’t think it’s going to take that long. But exactly how long it takes isn’t really what’s important. Thomas has set out to accomplish something, set out to measure himself against his peers and discover whether he’s got what it takes. What’s important is that Thomas sees himself as capable of what he’s set his mind to do. And as we end each lesson with a peek at his mastery percentage, I see his eyes light up. I see him gain another spark of confidence in himself and his ability. And no mathematics lesson could ever measure what that’s worth.
UPDATE 11/4/14
Thomas completed the “early math” section (grades K, 1 and 2) in under 8 hours of work. Each time he encountered an unfamiliar concept he was able to quickly comprehend my explanation and apply it successfully to his work. My favorite part of this journey was when, at 99%, he eagerly called me over so that I could participate in the exact moment he reached 100%. Seeing how proud he was of his accomplishment: priceless!
We didn’t do it that way exactly but when they weren’t ready we stopped and when they wanted more, we moved forward. My kids also wanted to know what their public school friends knew too. Especially when it came to math. For the most part I still wonder how and where they have learned most of what they know.
I love reading this info, ESPECIALLY from a teacher! It’s the road I’m headed. I had previously homeschooled my now 25-yo daughter but in the way you had described we think we’re supposed to do it at first….in a little classroom trying to do school stuff at home like they do in school. With my now 5-yo daughter and 6yo son, though, it’s going to be different. I had killed any love for or want to learn math with my older daughter by pushing her. My kids now have been unschooled all the way so far. I did try to use a little bit of Right Start Math, but they mostly resist. Sometimes they’ll put up with it a little bit, so we are going so very slowly with it. But my son taught himself to count to 100. I never pushed him to count by 1s to anything past 20. One day I woke up and he was sitting by me counting to 100. I asked him how he learned that, and he said, “I taught myself”. I was floored! How amazing! They definitely have a love of learning and are very curious about everything! I won’t force them to read or write until they are ready, either. I have done a tad bit of reading using alphabetti books with my son, but don’t do it unless he sees it lying around and asks to do it. He holds his pen correctly and is ready to write, but I don’t show him how to properly draw the number or letter until he asks. My daughter does not yet hold her pen correctly, so I am definitely not pushing writing with her at all. It’s like you say, you wonder how they learn some of the things they’ve learned, because we didn’t teach it to them.
Thanks for sharing your experiences. I think it helps us all to hear one another’s stories – especially when that “whiny teacher voice” is getting us down!
Thank you for this article. I am new to unschooling and I find a little difficult to make up my mind in how I’m going to teach to read and write and math to my daughter when the time comes, and to keep teaching my 7 yo boy. Should I make them write pages and pages and pages of letters and circles? For me it is important that they know these skils, but on the other hand I do not want to preassure them to do “the school thing” and make it tedious and forceful. May I have your advice on this particular matter? Thank you so, so much. Your website has helped me a lot.
Hi Sara!
I remember asking myself these same kinds of questions at the beginning of my family’s unschooling journey! The first thing I realized I needed to change was my own thinking about “teaching” vs. “learning” (as a former teacher, this took a lot of work on my part!). I gradually came to see that teaching and learning are not really connected in the way we think they are. I could “teach” something all day long, but whether my child “learned” it would be up to HIM, not me. The good news is that there’s plenty of good research out there that shows that children are wired to learn. They are curious by nature, and are very motivated to acquire skills that they deem necessary. In addition, much learning is a “by-product” of play -just having fun.
I shared your concerns about my children learning to read, write, and do math if I stopped trying to teach it. Seven years and four kids into this journey, I see that they were able to acquire all of these skills just by living life, pursuing their interests, and receiving input from me here and there. My kids were super-motivated to read and to spell correctly through the online games they played: they wanted to be able to communicate with the other kids on the game! They’re good with mental computation because they’ve been given lots of chances to practice budgeting and spending their money. Other unschoolers learn to read, write, and do mathematics because of whatever is important in their journey. It can be scary, but try to trust the process – and don’t worry about your children developing skills at the “typical school age”. One beautiful thing about unschooling is that a child develops a skill when he or she is truly ready and not on someone else’s schedule. Look for signs of progress to encourage you (“Wow! She wasn’t reading street signs this time last year!” “Look at the way he spelled that – he’s figured out the -tion ending all on his own!” etc.) Talk to other unschooling parents who have older kids – there’s nothing so reassuring as hearing about older unschooled children who are doing just fine socially, emotionally, and “academically”.
I wish you much success as you continue your journey!
-Nicole
I am so curious how the rest of your son’s mathametic journey went! Was he able to pick up the different concepts?
Thank you!
Well, here we are 4 years later! Back in sixth grade, Thomas did enough formal math to reassure himself that he COULD learn math, then happily went back learning through his life’s adventures. Formal mathematics stayed on the back burner until the beginning of ninth grade, when he decided to take a middle school math review course. Although this was not a review for him, but his first exposure for some concepts, he did beautifully. By the end of the course, he was able to do math through the eighth grade level. He is currently taking algebra and doing just fine. The best part? He chose to take these courses, so his motivation is internal rather than external, and he is developmentally ready to master the concepts.