My six year old daughter Katy enjoys cooking with me. She’s a great little assistant; dumping in the flour, mixing in the sugar, cracking the occasional egg when she’s in a daring kind of mood. But today, Katy announced that she was relinquishing the role of assistant, and moving up in the world.
“I want to cook a dessert, Mommy. By myself! With no rules.” By this, I discovered, she meant that she wanted to embark upon a recipe-free, fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants kind of confection.
My instant reaction was to say no, for several reasons. First, we live a gluten-free lifestyle, and ingredients are not cheap! Second, I was just about to start another project. But mainly I was just scared. I had absolutely no confidence that she could put something together that would come out edible, let alone tasty. In a flash, I was calculating the losses: ingredients, time, electricity.
Then it struck me: isn’t this a perfect example of what unschooling is all about? Unlike me, Katy was not daunted by the thought of experimenting. She was confident and excited: she looked at this as an adventure, not a foray into the disastrous.
I knew I was at a crossroads. I could refuse her, citing my laundry list of negatives, or I could support and facilitate. Suddenly it occurred to me: maybe, just maybe, we could make something yummy. Her enthusiasm became mine, as I threw caution to the wind and said, “Sure you can, honey. May I be your assistant?”
was it edible?
It was!
What’d she make?
She made a chocolatey one layer brownie/cake delicacy. It was pretty yummy, but tough to describe!
Sounds like she’s got the right idea though.
Also, if you say “yes” most of the time then when your kid’s running into the road … Your no or stop or don’t won’t be tuned out as nagging.
Very true!
However, there’s still no reason it can’t be a conditional yes … Not abritrary conditions but ones guided by a principle of “freedom, not license”